


History

by Princex_N



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Backstory, Bullying, Canon Depressed Character, Conversations, Friendship, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 13:51:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8581012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princex_N/pseuds/Princex_N
Summary: Sometimes unlikely friends meet in unlikely places.
Or; Johan tells a story. Magnus helps Johan out of a tight corner. The Voidfish is a solid pal.





	

Magnus has been hanging around more and more ever since he got back from his last mission. 

Johan doesn't really mind, but it is a little weird, to have to listen to the older man talk to the Voidfish. Usually, Johan just leaves when Magnus shows up, to give the man some privacy and go get actual food, but sometimes he's just not up for that.

Those days he mostly just sequesters himself off in the corner and tries to be quiet and out of the way, making enough noise to distract himself but not enough to become a distraction. 

So when Magnus suddenly asks, "How long have you worked here?" it takes Johan a while to realize that he's the one being spoken to. 

"Oh," he says, a little startled, "As long as the Voidfish has." There's an actual number of years, he knows, it's just that he can't remember it. It's been a while.

When he looks over at Magnus, the man is sitting cross legged on the floor next to the tank, looking curiously over at Johan, and Johan doesn't really know what's going on. 

"Really?" Magnus asks, leaning back, "Why did they hire you?" 

It's not the first time Johan has been asked that. Apparently it's something a lot of people talk about, and want to know. 

"Why?" Johan asks, tone a bit challenging, peering up at the man from under his bangs as he sits up a little straighter, "'cause I don't do any  _real_ work here?"

It's part challenge, part joke, but Magnus looks viscerally panicked, and Johan decides to take pity on him. Magnus doesn't seem like the type of person to mean the question in that way anyway. 

"Nah, I'm just messing with you." Johan says, fiddling around with the strings of the harp he'd been playing as he tries to figure out how to word things. "The Voidfish was in a lake near my hometown." He doesn't usually talk about this, it's weird to share, but Magnus is a pretty decent guy and Johan finds that he doesn't mind it too much. "I found it. I didn't exactly have a lot of friends," understatement of the fucking year, "so I hung around it a lot, talked to it a bunch." 

He risks a glance up at Magnus, and is surprised to see the man leaning forwards, looking quietly devastated. 

"No one forgot about me completely, but the damage was pretty set and done by the time the Bureau showed up," Johan shifts his gaze to look at the Voidfish in its tank, and the corner of his mouth quirks up, "Plus, it was kind of my only friend, so. I probably would have gone with it anyway." 

Magnus is quiet for a while, absorbing the information. Johan finds himself inexplicably anxious as he waits for a response; he can count on one hand the number of people he's told this story to before, and there's some bits that Johan always leaves out that no one ever asks about. He likes Magnus well enough, but that doesn't make him want to talk about _that_.  

"Well," Magnus says finally, his voice and expression oddly intent, "It's good that you've got more friends here now, huh?" 

Johan thinks it over. The Director and Avi and Angus and the Voidfish. Four  _is_ a bigger group than he'd had growing up planet-side. "Yeah," he says, "It's pretty cool." 

-

Some things in Johan's life have changed since he joined the Bureau. 

Others haven't. 

"Look, all I'm saying is that you're kind of dead weight. Would it kill you to make  _some_ kind of effort  _some_ where?" 

Johan doesn't even know who this guy is. He hadn't been expecting to talk to anybody at all today. The only thing he'd wanted to do is get an apple or something before going back to work on a composition that he's been struggling with for the past couple days. But he's walking to the dining hall, and then the next thing he knows, he's cornered in a hallway by some guy with some strong opinions. 

Some things really haven't changed at all. 

"Look, I just-" he says, trying to step around and leave, but the guy isn't having it. 

"No, you look-"

"Hey! What's going on over here?!" Magnus' voice is as loud as always, and Johan feels pathetically relieved to hear it today. Anything to get this guy off his fucking case. 

"Oh, you're one of the new Reclaimers," the man comments, taking a step back, and Johan can breathe a little easier. "Nothing's really going on. I'm just having a chat with this guy about how to make himself more useful around here, starting with some personal hygiene." 

Johan flinches. He's well aware of the train wreck that is his life, but the last thing he needs is other people talking about it; pointing it to to more people. Not that other people need it pointed out. It's bad enough on its own, but this has happened enough times that Johan knows that it doesn't matter how many people comment on it, he's not going to be able to change it any time soon. That doesn't make it any less shitty, or embarrassing. 

"Well, that's quiet a bold claim," Magnus says, his tone still loud and friendly, but he looks kind of pissed. "Because I know that Johan does some pretty important work around here, but, what exactly do  _you_ do?" 

The man falters, obviously having expected Magnus to be on his side of things. He takes in Magnus in his entirety- his bulk and his scars and his weapons- and doesn't stick around long enough to respond. 

"Thanks," Johan says, once they're alone, slumping back against the wall and resisting the urge to play with his bangs. He doesn't need the physical reminder that he hasn't showered in a couple days, not after that bullshit. 

"That kind of thing happen often?" 

Not so much anymore. Most of the people are actually pretty nice here, but there's always a couple of exceptions. It helps that Johan doesn't go out a lot, and not many people are interested in going to the Voidfish. Avoidance isn't so much a necessity anymore, but it's habit and it's easy. 

"I'm used to it," is what he says instead. Less words.

That only serves to make Magnus look more concerned than he had been, which hadn't exactly been what Johan had been going for. 

"Sorry, were you going to see the Voidfish? I can stay out longer if you need me to." Johan doesn't actually really want to, but he doesn't mind it _so_ much, especially because he's pretty sure that there was something out here that he was supposed to be doing before he went back to the Voidfish's room anyway.  

"No, I was just leaving actually." Magnus' voice is a little distant, and then he pulls himself together and reaches out to put a hand on Johan's shoulder. Johan tries to cover up the fact that he does buckle slightly under the contact. "Hey, if people are bothering you, let me know, okay? I can take care of it for you." 

Coming from anybody else, Johan would probably get kind of angry. He doesn't need other people's pity, especially because so often that pity is meaningless. But Magnus sounds genuine, and as nice as the man is, he's also a bit too honest and a bit too much of an asshole to be pity-nice to people. 

So Johan says, "Yeah okay, thanks."

Magnus pats him on the shoulder again, and Johan tries not to choke. "Cool. I'll see you later!" Magnus says, and walks off, and after a moment, Johan heads back to the Voidfish's chamber. 

The Voidfish trills out a greeting, and as Johan closes the door behind him he realizes that he hadn't actually managed to get any food, which sucks, but it hadn't been a necessity or anything. He walks up to the tank and puts a hand on the glass. The Voidfish doesn't mirror the movement, but that's okay. 

Johan thinks of the day that he'd met the Voidfish, all those years ago. Today hadn't actually gone much different than that day had, only there hadn't been a guy like Magnus around back then. 

Which definitely contributed to Johan's decision to jump into the lake. 

And Johan remembers it in vivid detail. The shitty years that led up to it, the day that was the breaking point, the moments before he jumped in. He remembers the thick pressure of the water around him, and the sight of the galaxy sprawled out beneath him, pulsing with a soft pink and purple light, and being so certain that that was it. He can easily remember the disappointment when the stars had reached out and dragged him back out of the lake.

And after that, the decision to stick around and watch out for this weird creature living at the bottom of a lake that had saved his life despite his wishes. The comfort and companionship he'd gained, the crushing relief when his classmates started leaving him alone, and then the bitter confusion when everyone else started too as well. 

The glass is cool underneath his palm, the Voidfish trills at him curiously. 

"Thanks," he says finally, looking up at it in an approximation of eye contact, "for saving me." 

It's not something that he's said out loud before, and it's an odd sentiment considering that most days still kind of suck, but Magnus wasn't wrong with what he'd said the other day. Stepping up from zero friends to five is pretty sweet.

And none of it would have happened without the Voidfish. 

"Thanks," he says again, and the Voidfish hums back, and Johan goes back to work and things, for once, are actually kind of good. 

**Author's Note:**

> Johan gives me hope that depressed recluses like me can make friends too  
> [my tumblr](http://www.princex-n.tumblr.com)


End file.
